Pretty Fun Things

If I could marry a photograph...

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 11:47:00 -0500

I would marry this photo of Karli at BAM/ PFA because I’m in love with everything about it.

(Bonus if you can imagine the loud, live sound of High Places echoing throughout the gallery below us.)

She didn’t know I took a photo of her and was surprised when I told her it was her last night.

And then I’d potentially consider having affairs with these photos of April and Jenna on separate mornings at Cafe Gitane in New York even though the best part of Gitane is the colors and my camera was filled with black and white film.

I also took a series of (now seemingly boring) photos out of the plane window of our approach into Moscow to show both the vast expanse of nothingness ad the endless fields of ice and snow. This one is of a half accident and half crazy tall Russian trees.

And so begins the journey of seven rolls of film over 11 days. Next week, the tale of three cities.

Film and Purpose (or: Where are the photos?)

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 21:25:02 -0500

I lay in bed in a jetlag haze while images danced before my eyes. Sam to the left on his favorite bridge silhouetted in front of a dusky blue sky and bright gold bulbs- Kristen blurred while walking in front of Café de Flore, in focus while paused on a ledge, then blurred again against the back drop of a fluorescent Spanish bar. Of the Mazzo sign reflected in a table, two paintings in a Dutch restaurant- the cake stands at a Russian bakery- gold opulence of a Kremlin cathedral and the blue detailing of another. Me against a wrought iron door in a vintage blue dress, red lipstick and a gold geometric necklace from my husband.

I’ve been asked a few times where the photos are and why I haven’t posted them. Well, I haven’t seen them yet. Like little un-hatched eggs after a period of incubation, they’re being born at Photoworks. While I fell short of my 10 rolls in 10 days goal, seven rolls of 120mm film are being processed and will be ready tomorrow afternoon.

The lack of instant gratification has been met with beautiful anticipation and the pleasure of hearing that manual “click” of each shot. While totally impractical for events like weddings, I had no desire to shoot anything but film this trip after the first day in Moscow. I wanted to be deliberate and thoughtful, to compose and observe, to savor each moment I captured.

I missed images because of this. The dog larger than any dog I’d seen before trotting along the streets of Paris. The old ladies holding hands in massive fur coats in Moscow. Fun group photos and pretty much all photos after dark. But when I sleepily thought back on those rolls of film I carried around with me through four cities, I could remember almost all 84 shots and what I was thinking with each.

Curiosity might have killed the cat, but it brought pleasure to the photographer who will find a collection of memories on film tomorrow.

Weekend Update - Baby It's Cold

Sun, 12 Feb 2012 13:28:00 -0500

The story and many rolls of film will come soon, but for now, here’s an update of the past few days on the road.

A quick stop in New York meant dinner with one of my favorite people in the world, Q.

I also got to introduce him to J & A

And he introduced us to minty Fernet.

Moscow will need a post of its own when film is developed and we’ve had the chance to process. The past two days have been fully surreal, absolutely wonderful, and currently impossible to articulate. But until then, here is a bit of what it’s felt like so far.

Soundtrack: Russian club techno

Smell: frozen air

Taste: Vodka that doesn’t sting & pickled herring to prevent hangovers

Touch: Frozen upon exposure

Without windchill: -13*f at the warmest part of the day

Warmth from: our new friends from Russia on the illuminated dancefloor

Just Like Butter - Portraits of Emily

Wed, 08 Feb 2012 07:48:00 -0500

I hadn’t thought about taking portraits on Sunday until she asked, and then after I did, I hadn’t thought about posting them until Emily used the word “buttery” to describe the photos. Yes please.

Here are some lessons on taking impromptu photos of Emily (I’ve listed them separately, but looking at them, they’re all connected):

1. Emily and I are very different photographers. When Emily says “give me direction” I say, Umm, what? Act natural!

2. “Act natural” to Emily is “act like a spazzzzz who hates being in front of the camera” because Emily is naturally a spaz. I knew this from our session last year, but forgot about how Emily is great at giving direction and I’m awful at it (with the exception of artistic shoots where I have something specific in mind that I want, like Chasing Nightmares). A few years ago, I would have thought this made me a bad photographer, but I realize now that my style allows me to just approach my shoots differently. This is also why you won’t normally catch me doing headshots.

3. Emily is so gorgeous and so much fun. I knew these things, but looking at the photos, I couldn’t get enough of her. I swoon at her eyes.

4. Outtakes are intakes. When we joked about the need for an outtakes post, I noted that having a serious Emily is almost the outtake. She wouldn’t be Emily if she wasn’t dancing a jig or throwing her leg on a tree or pretending she’s scary stalker. This is the real Emily.

5. When you try to give Emily direction because you really want to try for her, she takes you literally. Lean against this tree produces LEANING. AGAINST the tree.

So I stopped trying. And in the end, got some pretty gorgeous, buttery images of her.

Thanks for your beautiful face, friend.

C & P Engaged - A City Afternoon

Sun, 05 Feb 2012 21:30:00 -0500

There were so many things that I loved about this shoot: The macarons I devoured while chatting with C & P before we wandered, the realization that San Francisco is filled with so many beautiful spaces that welcome wanderers, and most of all, getting to spend an afternoon with two lovely people who were smitten for each other. I can’t wait for their wedding in just a few months!

Pausing for Mexico

Thu, 26 Jan 2012 12:22:00 -0500

It doesn’t take much to convince me to travel, but when a lady says “Come to Mexico this Friday”, you don’t ask questions. You buy a ticket. You reward yourself for getting through December with your head still attached and for being a constant hard worker.

This long weekend in Mexico with two close friends might have been the first real do nothing vacation I’ve had in almost five years. I brought only film and books and Elliot the Horse. The wifi didn’t work and the weather was perfect, so we lounged and ate and drank cocktails by the sea. The Cuban dance floor begged us to dance, the music called our names. Mesmerized by the beauty of the flow that is Mexico.

We chanced to meet a local with a boat on our last night who offered to take us around before we left. Dolphins and pufferfish came to greet us, the ocean embraced us, and the warm Mexican breeze enveloped us.

Thank you Mexico for the calm you replaced in us. Paused. Reset. Ready to play again.

E & T Wed - A Feast of Love and Color

Tue, 24 Jan 2012 12:28:03 -0500

Oh, how lucky I am to spend so much time celebrating love, how rich this makes life, how special it is to be a part of moments of bliss.

E & T’s wedding was a day of “pinch me, I must be dreaming”. It was as though someone had hand selected beautiful things and awesome people and the tastiest food to photograph and put them in one day for us.

Filled with character and color and love for each other, and smiles that made my heart melt over and over, E & T were a dream to work with. As I learned on their wedding day, their friends and families are just as tastefully gorgeous and lovely.

A feast for the eyes, for the heart, and for the soul, E & T, congratulations!

Goodbye LQ

Mon, 23 Jan 2012 17:34:00 -0500

I was on a train recently and looked around while thinking about Death. How it’s not something most of us think about often, and that living seems so easy, hearts seem to keep beating unless they stop. How they keep beating and how life keeps living seems almost impossible, but it does, until it doesn’t.

I found out yesterday that a really wonderful friend died this weekend. She was doing something adventurous and then her life ended. She would have been 30 in a little more than three months, a day before me.

I can’t really comprehend what it all means or how long it will hurt like this, but as A reminds me, she would be wanting us to celebrate not only her life, but our own. She was like that. She was always so proud of her friends and so determined to make the most of life. She was a little crazy and always smiling. I loved this about her.

LQ was one of the few friends who trekked to Australia to watch me get married and sign my marriage certificate. These are some photos I took of her on that night.

Goodbye, my LQ. How I’ll miss you and will always, always be loving you.

Preview: E & T's Wedding of Color

Fri, 20 Jan 2012 15:09:00 -0500

While I wait for a moment to process the film from E & T’s wedding of color to add into the mix, I end the week with a few photos from what was the most *fabulous* day of gorgeous friends and color and stunningly awesome people who understood the value of good taste and mad love. More on Monday!

More Fun with My Mamiya

Thu, 12 Jan 2012 12:46:00 -0500

I think my favorite place to take photos of people is in homes. This is April in my home shortly after Christmas. She had just come back to SF after spending the holidays away and I was thrilled to see her. We had brunch and walked around for hours, shopping and talking, and then came back to my house to have tea and quesadillas and do some work. The house was quiet and I was sitting on the floor and I noticed how beautiful she looked under my windows. I like when my camera is near me at times like this.

There were also some funny goat photos on this roll of film from Jenna’s birthday farm dinner.

This is what being on a goat farm feels like. My cape was covered in goat spit.

This woman started the New Year fully clothed in the ocean.

And last, D took this of me on New Years Day while we wandered around Muir Beach together. It was the perfect way to start a New Year.

Weddings from Great Grandma's Attic

Tue, 10 Jan 2012 17:08:00 -0500

Long overdue, I’ve decided to start the year with some photos and inspiration from the archive of my great grandmother’s attic.

I was fortunate enough to grow up with most of my great-grandparents, but was extra lucky to have one set until just a few years ago. They were gorgeous.

(This is one of my all time favorites photos in history. She was amazing.)

To say we were close wouldn’t come close to explaining our relationship, and I still think about them in almost everything I do. Fortunately, they seem to have loved taking and keeping photos, and I was able to take a bunch of them home with me a few years ago. When I saw the box of history (which are scores of posts in themselves), I was instantly drawn to the tons of wedding photos from life in New York back in the forties and fifties. What those weddings must have been like - how the food must have tasted and what that amazing music must have sounded like through speakers…the stories behind the photos…they were there. Those gorgeous dresses! …How many weddings they must have seen in their sixty something years together. Luckily, I can celebrate them all now, a million years later. These are some of my favorites.

My first wedding of the year is next week and will be awesome, so stay tuned. Happy January!

A Long and Wild December

Fri, 30 Dec 2011 20:26:00 -0500

It dawned on me yesterday that it’s (impossibly) still December. The same December that I moved and decorated in one day, had a house party, decided I needed a scooter, went to safety school and then bought a Vespa. The December that was filled with regular sleepovers and silliness with friends and the return of my husband after his band toured for almost two months. The December of our five year wedding anniversary, the anniversary of our third year in SF, and the same December I shot a wedding in Boston. The December that I bought tickets to Moscow, Paris and Amsterdam.

Somewhere in between, Christmas happened, Karli and my brother stayed in our smaller space, I got to walk to bars and when lucky, see one of my best friends sing. The same December I ate at better restaurants than I’d ever eaten at, baked three batches of macarons, a chocolate cake, shortbread, chocolate chip cookies, madaleines, caramels, peppermint bark and bavarian pretzels. I decided that 2012 wouldn’t be the year for moving back to Australia and I booked my seventh and eighth weddings of 2012. I might have felt more emotions collectively in the past 30 days than in the last ten years.

Tomorrow it will close and on Sunday, a new year and a new month will start the week. To say I’ve been too busy to think of what that means is likely a huge understatement. If the last three years are indicative of what is to come, it’s likely to continue being wildly fun, creative and exciting. And so I sign off with some film I managed to snap this month, the most long and wild December I’ve known.

This happened.

A weekend in Boston and Cambridge two days after moving into our new home.

French food and oysters and an introduction to understanding the appreciation of Taste.

…and an evening at a goat farm pretending it was Jenna’s birthday.

Happy last day and a half of 2011.

*Jillian

2011 in Review: Photography Happened (and it Rocked)

Mon, 26 Dec 2011 15:03:20 -0500

I ended 2010 on a high after amazing adventures, art shows and creative outlets abound. I was excited for 2011, but I also couldn’t escape the pressure of passion to shoot weddings. I was entering my fifth year of trying to get my business off the ground. I had come to terms with the reality that running a wedding photography business and finding work isn’t easy stuff. It’s, well, really hard.

As December closed, I finally met Emily Gutman of Emily Takes Photos who wanted to meet up for coffee in the New Year. Was she being sarcastic? I had sadly mis-perceived that two wedding photographers in the same city with a similar style couldn’t openly admire each other’s art, never mind be…friends!?

Fortunately, the second I saw her face, I melted. She was adorable and lovable and gorgeous, incredibly warm and welcoming. On our first date, she handed me a little box of knowledge that changed my photography life forever. Why was I wasting my time being buried in website listings? Hadn’t I ever gotten involved with wedding blogs? A cup of tea, a scribble of blog names on a napkin, and the rest is happiness history. I not only started finding emails in my inbox, but they were from people like me. They weren’t questionably spam or unreasonable bargain shoppers. They were people I’d pick as my friends in real life, people who I couldn’t wait to spend time with and photograph.

So this post is a thank you to both Emily for her support as a friend and her knowledge of being a woman small business owner and a fabulous photographer, and to every couple below who enriched the year with so much love and character and creativity, with friendship and laughter and constant admiration. So much more than clients, you have each in your own way found a place in my heart and have treated me to the most amazing year in photos.

I started the year at the most intensely unreal dance party wedding in Argentina, feeling royal with C & J

Followed by the most quaint Berkeley wedding filled with homemade Southern Charm with C & S

Cried along during speeches at the Terra Gallery while time stopped for E & E

Was witness and partner in colorful elopement excitement with V & J

Warmed my heart around the fire on a ranch with J & G

Was mesmerized by the beauty and inclusiveness of family under the redwoods with M & B

Shared in anticipation and sheer joy at City Hall with T & J

Beheld the incredible love of two beautiful women on a foggy cliff at the union of J & A

Danced and laughed with young and old alike in Marin with M & S

Wished the beautiful summer night would have lasted forever with L & A

Felt consumed by the union of art and love at the San Francisco Art Institute with C & S

Crossed an ocean to be a part of two ceremonies and a huge celebration in Italy with F & C

Was captivated by romance in the forest air with J & A

and closed the year at the Boston Museum of Science while playing under dinosaurs with E & A

In addition to the honor of photographing the union of new friends, it was also an amazing year filled with travel and adventure, color and contrast. At no point did I lose sight at how lucky I am to have a day job that challenges me to constantly learn and grow, and a life outside of the office that always keeps me smiling.

It was the first year my photography was published, both in Harper’s Bazaar and on A Practical Wedding. I photographed beautiful children and families like M and M and E, P, the L’s and the W’s…

…and was trusted by my favorite muses to get a little crazy in costume, dress up in tulle, get cozy with taxidermy, and spend afternoons in nameless bars.

I travelled to New Orleans with those amazing muses and played in the snow with Q in New York, got lost on the streets of Venice , went to Frenchy chic picnics, and visited friends in Berlin …

I played Parent to my little brother in Oregon , conquered Brooklyn and Manhattan with ladies who I love, spent a long weekend at Jenna’s childhood home in Alaska, split my 29th Birthday between Point Reyes and dressing up with friends in Capes and Crowns…

I was lucky enough to spend time in Iguazu Falls Argentina, hung art in a local store, spent some time in the beauty of Sonoma and Northern California, and had a taste of summer at home in Australia.

To be fortunate enough to fill my life with travel and good friends, photography and being creative, daily inspiration and (two) career(s) that keep me motivated is so much more than I could ever ask for from life.

2011 was a pretty incredible year.

Dear Friends: I Couldn't Love You More (Closing 2011 in Style)

Wed, 14 Dec 2011 14:32:00 -0500

No points for fabulous photography here (see tables of alcohol / friends who grabbed the camera throughout the night /thanks friends!) but big points for content. All points for content.

I ended this year with the beginning of a new life with the best friends I could imagine. All was set for Hats & Highballs V2 for a Sunday afternoon until the guy downstairs almost burned the house down. There’s nothing like being woken at three am gasping with fumes from a microwave on fire to decide on a new apartment within six hours. Long story short, this year’s Hats & Highballs Holiday Party was also a Housewarming. And it couldn’t have been warmer.

2011 was my third year in San Francisco and my third year at Twitter. It was also the year I realized again, but more than ever, just how lucky I am to be constantly surrounded by the most talented, creative, humble, gorgeous people I’ve ever known. I’ve always been lucky to find wonderful friends, but I’ve never known such a strong concentration of them could exist in one place. And in my house! (Thanks, Twitter, for setting us all up).

I probably tell you each (below) how much I love you regularly, but in case I don’t, thank you for being the fuel that inspires me daily.

E & A's Boston Museum of Science Wedding

Tue, 13 Dec 2011 22:37:00 -0500

E & A’s first email to me was one of those jump up and down “really, I can go to Boston with you to photograph your wedding” emails, made even more exciting by “wait, it’s at the Museum of SCIENCE!!?!?” Once I met them in person, I couldn’t think of a more suitable venue to celebrate their love.

Their wedding was no different. I jumped up and down throughout the hallways of the huge and deserted museum while E & A wandered through exhibitions and confronted dinosaurs and grasshoppers.

I was also lucky enough to have the company of the amazing Boston photographer Emily Sterne who helped document the night of eating and drinking and dancing and merriment. And if getting to shoot a Museum wedding in Boston wasn’t enough, the company of E & A and their awesome friends and family made it the best way to close an incredible year. Soon, a review on exactly how incredible it’s been.

(Inspiration) Wild Murakami

Thu, 01 Dec 2011 13:25:00 -0500

I’m heading to Boston to photograph L & A’s Museum wedding, reading while waiting for my Virgin wifi to kick in. 1Q84 was too large to carry around so I’ve gone back to the beginning of Murakami, which I’ve been meaning to do for years. Falling back into my love for A Wild Sheep Chase, I remembered exactly how I became obsessed…

“See what I mean?” she said.

She’d become so beautiful, it defied understanding. Never had I feasted my eyes on such beauty. Beauty of a variety I’d never imagined existed. As expansive as the entire universe, yet as dense as a glacier. Unabashedly excessive, yet at the same time pared down to an essence. It transcended all concepts within the boundaries of my awareness. She was at one with her ears, gliding down the oblique face of time like a protean beam of light.

“You’re extraordinary,” I said, after catching my breath.

“I know,” she said. “These are my ears in their unblocked state.”

Several of the other customers were now turned our way, staring agape at her. The waiter who came over with more espresso couldn’t pour properly. Not a soul uttered a word. Only the reels on the tape deck kept slowly spinning.

She retrieved a clove cigarette from her purse and put it to her lips. I hurriedly offered her a light with my lighter.

“I want to sleep with you,” she said.

So we slept together.

(Haruki Murakami, A Wild Sheep Chase)

J & As Woodland Wonderland Wedding

Mon, 28 Nov 2011 23:24:00 -0500

Soundtrack: Talking Heads

Smell: Crisp clean forest air and wood burning fireplaces

Touch: Velvet and fur, tulle, fallen leaves

Taste: Wines and beers, cheeses and smoked salmon, comfort food to warm the soul…

Sight: see below

It’s been a while since I’ve had the pleasure of posting a wedding as the season comes to a close, but I’ve been waiting patiently for J & A and their wedding all year. It was worth the anticipation, made better only by partnership with a good friend from a different time in life, Chloe.

When J first contacted me, I knew that I had to photograph her and A’s wedding. If she hadn’t had me at, “candle lit dance hall”, the idea of staying with the party overnight in the woods in historic cabins without electricity was pretty convincing. Best of all, once we met in person, J’s calm but electric presence was enough to wrap my senses in the need to photograph her. The same was true for the first time I met A, who was as equally as warm and thoughtful and flowing with charm.

Their wedding felt like a movie set to me, or rather the animation of a fairy tale with all of the good parts, minus the villain. The South meets Ireland, guests who insisted on treating us as guests, costumes and candles and chandeliers, and most of all, romance. The swept-away-entranced-by-the-beauty-of-everything-in-the-story kind.

Included in the wonder was help and companionship from Chloe Jackman, a friend I’ve known since we studied Law & Society together ten years ago. When I moved to San Francisco I found her again, only to find that neither of us had become lawyers, but rather were both coincidentally wedding photographers. Chloe came to my rescue after my second-shooter flaked, blessing me in disguise. Not only is Chloe an amazing photographer, but she made the best date imaginable, leaving the weekend feeling more like a vacation with a friend than anything like work.

We talked about how amazing the wedding was from the moment we parked after our three hour journey until days after we drove home. At the end of the photos, see Chloe dragging a pile of our camping gear up a hill as well as the view of what it was like to wake up in the morning with candles and a burning fireplace and my cardigan which I mistakingly thought would make a great curtain.

Portraits with Little B

Sun, 20 Nov 2011 23:37:00 -0500

Cute, agreeable, happy children are the best. I’ve had the pleasure of being friends with Little B’s parents for some time, so I shouldn’t have been surprised how lovely he was to photograph on a breezy afternoon in San Francisco. Yay for babies with so much personality you melt a little.

J & A's Woodland Wonderland (Film) Preview

Tue, 15 Nov 2011 12:05:00 -0500

Head in the clouds, clouds as high as they can be, I can’t stand not posting a few shots from the film I picked up from J & A’s Woodland Wonderland wedding this weekend. More when they’re back from their honeymoon next week. Bliss bliss bliss.

Tales of a Smaller Me - Papers from Grandma's Attic

Mon, 14 Nov 2011 12:54:00 -0500

A few weeks ago, I found myself in my Grandmother’s attic, and then found myself again in a stack of papers from a long, long time ago. I sat at the table with Grandma and my little brother gasping and laughing at how cute the world in my head was and shocked at just how very Me I’ve always been. A little dark, imagination running wild, dramatic from the start. Most of the stories and drawings seem to be from around age seven, give or take. I’ve left misspellings in for authenticity :)

April 10 1989

Once upon a time there was a place called Drizzle Town. The town was given this name because raindrops fell all day long. This made the pepole very funny.

Evry day since that day it rained. Five years later, the sun came out. And now it made the pepole crazy. The end.

Polly and the bublegum mistry

Once there was a parakeet named Polly. Every day polly would say, uck Polly wants bublegum. This made master very mad. The master took him to the animal docter. Polly bit the docters finger. OUCH!! Screamed the docter. The docter checked him out. Your parakeet has bublegumatidis. WHAT Bublegumatitis? O, just great now I’v gota listen to a talking arangatang (buck I want bublegum.) Well what will I do? Hear, the doctor gave him some money. Go out and by 13000 bublegum cans. What? I don’t think the candystore will have so much bublegum there. Then go to Shop Rite. Wow what a great animal docter. There is no buble gum in Shop Rite.

He went to the candy store to try it out. I got one can. It worked. I did it. O brother. Now hese starting. Dun dun dun dun dun.

The Complete Tales of Beatrix Potter - Tom Kitten Book report

I am reading the book All Tales of Beatrix Potter. It tells about many tales. I am reading the tail Tom Kitten. It tells about a kitten and his sisters getting in to trouble. Their names are Tom, Moppet and Mittens and the mothers name is Mrs. Tabitha Twitcit. Mr Twitchit was killed by a big rat. I like the story because it tells about cats and kittens and I love cats and kittens.

Ther was a girl named Sally. She had lots of friends. One day after school a new girl came in. Her name is Jule. At play Sally was jellis. Because Jule was playing with one of Sallys best friends. So at the end of the day Sally talked to her mommy. She sed I dont want to go to school because no one likes me. She did not go to the school.

(how bad is this story! I can’t believe I wasn’t thrown in therapy after this.)